I Survived A Midlife Crisis And So Can You
Planting seeds for a new beginning at any age
Are you feeling confused about where you are in your life? Are you doubting your path?
Are you feeling unfulfilled with what you are doing? If you are, I want you to know that
you are not alone. This is something many of us go through.
As humans we can get caught up in our own chronological age and look at our life as if
there is a timeline we must follow. At each age we start thinking - I should be in a
relationship by now, I should be working at my dream job at this point, I should own a
house at this age. And if we are not where we “think” we should be in our life, our inner
critic emerges. Why? Because this is a timeline that we’ve learned from a young age.
When in reality, this is all an illusion. The staged timeline is an invention. We are all on
our own journey and age is only a number. A number that does not matter.
In 2008, aged 45, I was being recognized at work, travelling overseas and married with
two wonderful kids. From the outside my life looked great but behind the scenes I was
at a point where I was no longer fulfilled at work. I was finding my job too easy and
unstimulating; the company values no longer lined up with mine. I was starting to
feel restless and I was questioning what I was doing and where I was in my life. Looking
back, I did not feel I had a choice. I HAD to make some big decisions in my life. Most of
us reach points in our lives where events unfold to precipitate a transition. Life was calling me and I was compelled to answer.
The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance
Alan Watts
This is when I made the decision to resign from my job. I pushed myself to step out of
my comfort zone and into unknown territory with a new opportunity working with a
Leadership Coaching and Personal Development Organisation. At the same time,
improving my heath became important to me. The drive to physically push my body
through participation in endurance sports, including triathlon, was another clarion call
and I was excited to get started.
My problem was that I couldn’t swim. But I learnt, and a few years later I swam to the end of the 1,840m long Busselton Jetty, around, and back. This is the longest wooden
piled jetty in the Southern Hemisphere, and something I had previously believed was
impossible for me to do. I did the Ironman which is a 3.6km open water swim, 180km
bike ride and a 42km run in under 12hours.
When I started to train, I very soon began to realise that endurance sports were more than an activity to help me get fitter, leaner and healthier. It was also shifting my mindset, connecting me to my true self and moving me into the next phase of life.
During this shift in my life, unfortunately my wife and I found our individual trajectories
heading off in different directions and we ended up parting ways. In my late 40s this was
very traumatic, life altering, and I again had entered unknown territory. The pain of losing daily contact with my kids was something I almost couldn’t bear and is something I’ve struggled with ever since, in spite of having a very good relationship with each.
These transitions in my life stretched me beyond measure, but it is through these
experiences that I embraced endurance sports and personal growth even more, and
discovered a new flow in my life. I started living a life that stretched and advanced me,
my thinking and who I was ready to become. I found a new purpose and my passion
started to reignite.
After talking to many people going through their own transitions, I wanted to share my experiences and lessons to help others on their own personal journeys. I felt I could be a catalyst for others to connect to their inner purpose, improve connections and find meaning in nature and the outdoors. This is where the ideas for Zuberant Life and Zuber Vitality were born.
What I’ve learned through all of this is that the journey never ends. We are always
evolving, looking to better ourselves and pursue our dreams. I have now studied to
become a Personal Coach and am currently advancing my knowledge as a Human
Potential Coach. I’m honing my own unique personal practices and I have a wealth of
insight to share from my life-altering experiences. Obstacles will continue to arise, but I
know that they are not there to stop me, they are there to open my eyes even more to
the life that I am here for.
It is important to remember that it is the ups and downs that make you stronger, and
every experience is an opportunity for you to learn and grow. If you don’t grow you will
stay stagnant. Every day choose to believe in yourself. Know that you are capable of
things beyond your wildest imagination. Know that you deserve to be happy. Know that
you are worthy of moving forward to be the best version of yourself. Know that it’s ok to
not have all the answers right away. And know that you can create the life that you want
- at any age.
“The strongest steel is forged by the fires. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it's plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength.”
- Sherrilyn Kenyon